Starting on Wednesday, I'd had really bad headaches and a particularly disconcerting nightmare... and very little sleep because of them. Which isn't so bad, but the headaches are something I'm worried about because of certain...side effects T_T
When I woke up in the mornings I asked my mom, on both wednesday AND thursday morning, if I could just not go to school, rest for ONE day. On Wednesday she said well, you're not feverish, and you've had a pretty good record of not missing school so far, just go anyways. On Thursday she said, and I quote :"Can't you just wait until tomorrow when its my day off?"
So, I gave up. On friday, after getting about 40 minutes of sleep, I wake up, try to get off my bed, and pretty much start hallucinating. It was the weirdest experience of my life :| Everything seemed to be moving at once and I was really scared. My mom just said "Are you coming or not?!?!" When I got out of the car, it happened again: I couldn't see anything but black underneath my feet and I had to use the railing to get on the bus because where I put my feet, there was nothing but space =___= Then during 3rd period I started to get a really bad stomachache and after 3 hours I called my mom and finally she agreed to come "all the way from home" to pick me up.
Also, she blamed me for not getting out of class soon enough. Everyone knows mrs. kirkpatrick DEMANDS a summons from the office, and the office lady told me "Well I sent out a summons but if you know your parent is coming you should come without one!" Conflict, school administration? Yes. But my mom, she blames ME.
Yesterday, I told my dad I have volunteering today. Today I wake up at 9:00 ready to go. He goes, no, I have to take your mom to her hangout with friends because she slipped and fell and doesn't feel well. I believed him, despite the fact that I didn't hear ANYTHING like a cry of pain or something heavy hitting the ground all day yesterday. He told me to wait so he could ask my mom if he could take me to volunteering (wtf when did he need to ask her?) so I tell him forget it because she was still showering and if we left anytime after 9:00 I'd be late and I'd rather not go.
She comes out and mocks me. "What are you angry for? mad at yourself that you woke up late?" At which point I really want to just scream because I woke up on time and they were being unfair and...ugh. At like 9:30 my dad has the nerve to say "oh I'll just take you instead, your mom doesn't want me to take her." I just told him that I would be late and so it was pointless. I really wanted to go to volunteering today. He should've also known that the schedule changed MONTHS ago, it wasn't 9:30, it was 9:00, and I couldn't afford to be late.
My mom came back home, and I didn't say anything to her, which isn't exactly the best thing to do but in my opinion it's better than how she treats me every time I'm sick. i.e. blaming me for getting sick, telling me to go to school anyway, thinking randomly buying me food will cure emotional damage from her nonchalant-ness.
So, my dad got mad at me for not asking about my mom and taking care of her when she was "obviously feeling so sick today", and how apparently she refused my PLEADING to stay home because she wanted me to not miss class (which is the same damn thing as valuing a number on my report card over my health), which she did for "MY sake". -___- As if that wasn't enough, he brings up things about "FAMILY" and how "I'm sure no one else of your age treats their parents like this."
Well if you wanted to compare, daddy, then why don't you. see how other parents treat their kids even when the kid hasn't done homework and needs to stay home and finish it or something not even close to a legitimate freaking headache which is causing hallucinations. See if anyone bothers at this age to take a blanket and put it over their parents if they're sleeping, to cook, wash dishes, do laundry for their parents, put their clothes away for them, do their mom's homework & essays, actually care about the state of their parents' health, and then you can come back and talk to me.
So much for family. He has no legitimate reason for demanding me to tell them when I'm sick if over the years they've proven to me that it'll do no good for me. Is it my fault I don't tell them if all they do is rage at me for not being healthy and wanting to miss school? I just cannot believe that they'd betray me like that. My mom won't even let me stay home one day from school for the sake of nothing else than a stupid number on my report card. And she goes to some stupid friends thing that she has every week anyway and takes my ride with her. Whereas it's rare during volunteering that eric, seraphina, corbin and I are all there together.
Maybe when I grow up I'll understand, and I'll see that I was wrong somehow.
Until then, I'm never going to stop blaming them for making me feel so worthless no matter what I do.
I haven't posted anything of actual worth lately. I'm sorry :|